What is Chronic People-Pleasing?

These days more people are in the public eye than ever before. With the rise of social media, access to a public presence is within hand’s reach via the smartphones in our pockets. With this newly found access to the world over the Internet, good and bad has come from it. Countless studies and articles have been published on this. I don’t need to go into detail about the good and the bad brought forth by the Internet.

However, one thing that has also come about is a psychological condition in levels humankind has probably never seen before! This condition is something I call chronic people pleasing (CPP). Whether it’s YouTube fashion bloggers, musicians, pranksters, or whatever, so many people today are constantly trying to create and publish content that the people will like!

And it’s not just on social media. School curriculums and even entire governments are pushing agendas based on what their constituents and what certain groups want, and this often happens at the expense of natural human morals and ethics that we are all born with.

One example is in regards to the issue of homosexuality. As of 2020, a number of states here in America now require children to learn about gay people and others who identify as LGBTQ. Kids are even being taught they don’t have to be the gender they were born with.

Another example that just came out recently involved Faiz Shakir, the campaign manager for Bernie Sanders. According to leaked emails published by WikiLeaks, back in 2015, Shakir sent an email to then-White House chief of staff John Podesta. His message? He disapproved of Hillary Clinton refusing to use the term “radical Islam” to describe Muslims who weren’t progressive enough in their religious views. In other words, this disgrace of a man wanted to label every Muslim as radical if they didn’t support homosexuality, etc.

Why is this nonsense being propagated? It’s because the progressive movement has been working hard for decades to get their way of life to be the most important way of life. And sadly, so many governments and institutions have been labeled as intolerant and as bigots to the point that now it’s effectively become a punishable offense to say that homosexuality is not okay. This is completely different from what it was like 50 years ago.

This is just one of the many examples of CPP. The bottom line is we as a society nowadays are so focused on what people think of us rather than what really matters: Almighty God and what He thinks of us.

Remember that our ultimate goal is to get into Paradise one day. How is worrying about whether people approve of us going to get us there? It’s not. What will get us there is what God approves of and acting according to what He approves of. In the end, these people who pressure us to conform to society rather than to God are doing Satan’s dirty work. They’re satanic themselves because they are following Satan in encouraging others to defy Almighty God.

So what can we do to cure ourselves of CPP? Well, we must put our trust in Almighty God fully and completely. Constantly remind yourself of God. Praise and glorify Him everyday. Make it a daily habit. As time goes by, if God wills, you’ll slowly start to feel more concerned with what Almighty God thinks of you and less concerned about what people think.

We must also strive to learn about the Oneness of Almighty God. Remember that God is One and One Only. And He is the Only One worthy of worship. So read and study the Noble Qur‘an. Study the narrations of the Messenger of God, the Prophet Muhammad, peace and God’s blessings be upon him. Study the life of his companions. Knowledge us power. So gain knowledge. And more importantly, implement that knowledge.

And finally, surround yourself with people who encourage you to be mindful of Almighty God. Being in good company is vital to ensuring you don’t relapse into CPP. These are some basic steps but it is a process. Believe me, I’ve been there. I used to have a case of chronic people pleasing. I got out of it by following these tips. And it took time but I guarantee it was worth it in the long run.

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