There is nothing wrong with being a virgin until marriage. It’s also good to not have kids outside of wedlock. And there is definitely nothing wrong with marrying someone from the opposite sex. In fact, that’s what you SHOULD do! These are part of long-standing traditional values that have been held in Western nations for thousands of years: marriage being between a man and a woman, children being born within wedlock, etc. So why are these marital and family values declining so rapidly in the West?
Well, there are a lot of factors. But the main one appears to be a rise in secular tendencies among many religious groups. Even among believers in the truth. The truth, of course, being Islam. And the reason for this rise in secular, modernist values over traditional, religious values is because as believers in the truth, we ourselves have neglected practicing and promoting the truth.
For centuries, we as Muslims were united under a single Islamic entity known as the Caliphate. And this was because even if our community wasn’t the absolute best with practicing Islam, still overall our community as a whole was still more much practicing than it is today. This kept the Caliphate in tact for 1300 years and still relatively united. And Almighty God gave the Muslims countless victories over the disbelievers, only because we followed His religion. We followed the truth and we practiced it!
This led to the Christian-majority nations of the West competing with the Muslims. Not just in worldly matters like conquest, but also in maintaining a religious identity. The Muslims were victorious for so long because of their adherence to religious values. No doubt Christian leaders in Europe also wanted to maintain their religious influence among the people. After all, they had to be better than the Muslims, at least in their view. It was an ideological war between truth and falsehood.
However, when we as Muslims began neglecting our faith and abandoning our obligations, Almighty God took away our victories for neglecting Him! God even said in the Noble Qur’an in chapter 13, verse 11 that He only changes the condition of a community when the people change themselves. And this goes both ways. When we go astray ourselves, our community eventually goes downhill and loses any chance of victory. Likewise, when we rectify ourselves and follow the way of Islam, our community will get better as well and victory will be given to us again!
So what does this have to do with declining family values? Simple: when the West saw the Muslims leaving their religious values for secular values and even trying to imitate the disbelievers, they had won. But this meant they had no one to compete with anymore on the religious front. Therefore, they slowly began to experience the effects of not following traditional religious values. Now these values are pretty much obsolete: homosexuality and fornication are common and widespread, failed marriages and divorces are at an all-time high, children are being born out of wedlock, among other things!
But don’t lose hope just yet. As Muslims, we can still maintain these traditional values that God’s religion brings to the world. If anything, this day and age presents the PERFECT opportunity to show how much better Islam is over disbelief!
While people fornicate and engage in other abominable acts, use the opportunity to show Islam to the people. Tell them you prefer to remain a virgin until you find a suitable wife (if you’re a man) or husband (if you’re a woman), just as God commanded us rather than following the secular way. When people come to you with their children born out of wedlock, use the opportunity to tell them about Islam. Tell them you want to have children within wedlock as God commanded us unlike what secularism teaches.
And this approach doesn’t just apply to disbelievers!
When you see non-practicing Muslims, take the same approach! Islam will never prevail until we start following Islam to the best of our ability and advising others to do the same. As Almighty God told us in the Noble Qur’an, we must enjoin good and forbid evil and not be ashamed to say, “I am from the Muslims.” Today people are proud of their disbelief. Some people even make this pride in their disbelief into a public mockery of Islam by driving around with bumper stickers that have the Arabic word “Kafir” which refers to a disbeliever. As if disbelief in the truth is something to be proud of.
Bottom line: follow the truth of Islam and be proud that you’re following the truth! Encourage others to follow the truth of Islam as well. And practice what you preach. Remember that following the truth, which is Islam, is an honor and it’s a sign of Almighty God’s love for you. Don’t let the disbelievers and the hypocrites tell you otherwise! They’re misguided.
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